ACCEPTING REALITY SKILLS - The Fifth Effective Living Skill Set ~ Blog # 15
Why Are Accepting Reality Skills Important?
Accepting Reality Skills are most important for reducing frustration and intense negative emotions in our life. So many people waste an enormous amount of time struggling with and trying to change situations and others that are outside of their control. Life becomes easier when we accept reality and focus our energy on controlling our responses to life events and stop trying to control others.
RECOGNIZING AND LETTING GO OF VICTIMHOOD: I once read that when we don't take responsibility for our actions, we will blame someone or something for our problem. Victimhood is a state of mind that is ineffective and keeps us stuck in a downward spiral of blaming and self-pity. The anti-dote for victimhood is accepting full responsibility for how we think, feel and act. Practice accepting responsibility for ways in which you have contributed to problems you encounter in life. Accept responsibility for solving your problems. Seek advice and help when needed, but don’t feel others are responsible for solving your problems.
I CAN'T CHANGE OTHERS: We often set ourselves up to be hurt time and time again when we hold onto unrealistic expectations for others. I have worked with a countless number of clients who irrationally believe that their parents, their siblings, their children or their partner must change in the way they want before they are to have any happiness or peace of mind. When those other people do not make the changes they desire, they become frustrated and demoralized over time. This skill involves accepting that it is unlikely that certain people are going to make major changes in how they treat us. When we realize and accept this, we free ourselves from trying to pressure them to change. We can also decide what boundaries we need to set to protect ourselves from future harm.
CAN'T CHANGE IT SKILL: This skill is about understanding that we can't change something that has already happened. We can take action to move forward in a responsible and positive way. If I have a fender bender, it does me no good to blame others or myself for the accident. By accepting that I can't change the accident that happened frees me to contact my insurance agent and do what is responsible to solve my problem. If you make a mistake, accept that you Can't Change It. Then do what you can to repair the situation. Often saying "Can't Change It" helps us to stop complaining and blaming and focus our attention on what needs to be done.
How to Access the Self-Study
This is the fifth blog related to the Effective Living Skills Self-Study. Each self-study skill set has a study sheet and a worksheet that you can access by going to the Self Study section at the top of the home page. Just click on the related PDF and you can print or download the study material. You can also print a certificate of completion with you name after completing each of the ten skill sets.